The Merriam-Webster Guide To Dating For Ladies by Coach Miller

John met Jane on Instagram and after a week of online courtship from John, the two decided to meet for dinner and drinks. The bottoms went up and the inhibitions went down. That cycle continued until Jane realized John's annoying attention to time management and John realized Jane’s perceived lack of ambition. It ended suddenly, when John popped a melatonin at 8pm on their “6 month anniversary”

because it was a Sunday and his Mondays had to start at 5am to have a successful week.

Jane realized when she got into her car to drive home that she hated the way John chewed his food, treated his mother, and his disdain for spontaneity. These issues weighed far heavier than the fact that he was successful but boring and impersonal. She left her key to his place and a note behind. Ironically, Jane got back on Instagram and started another cycle.