I’m not big on celebrity happenings.
What they do or do not do is really none of my concern.
To me, celebrities are human beings.
They’re no different from you and I.
Their pockets and platforms may be a lot bigger.
But that is another conversation for another day.
Today, I want to talk about us, Women. Us magical beings. Life giving, vision having, unforgettable creatures that both men and women can’t get enough of.
Women are the shit.
And we know it too.
When we are focused we can move mountains.
When we are united we can take over the world.
When we are transparent, we can set another woman free.
What can’t we do?
Think that our “WAP” is so powerful that it will make someone stay with us.
If you haven’t been living under a log, you know that Cardi B, the stripper turned reality star turned rapper, filed for divorce from her cheating husband and rapper by the name Offset.
Now this is why I stay out of other people’s business. All we know is that Cardi again left Offset after taking him back for doing the same thing that made her leave in the first place.
So many people have their opinions and speculations about why Offset cheated.
The church folk are calling Cardi thotish and hoeish. Some women are comparing Cardi B to Aventar Gray, who has a cheating husband who is a pastor.
Some men are taking Offset’s side saying that no man wants their wife acting in ways that Cardi did.
My response to all of this?
It is none of our business.
I can’t speak on a marriage that I’m not in. I can’t talk about anyone else’s household when I’m not privy to all of the details.
What I do know is that love is a choice. That marriage takes two people who want to be married. Who are dedicated to fighting together through the tough times.
Because, y’all, the world is fucked up and that fuckery is going to try to infiltrate your union.
How you survive is dependent on your foundation.
So, how do you establish a strong foundation in your marriage?
Well, I’m no marriage expert but I can tell you what I have learned.
Keep folks out of your business.
Learn how to communicate effectively. Ask yourself “what is the goal of this conversation?” Lead with the goal in mind.
Become best friends. You can have other best friends but your spouse should be the person you can come to and share your deepest emotions and hopes and dreams.
Establish a mission for your marriage/household. Why are you guys together? What type of legacy will you guys create and leave together? When hard times come, refocus and remind each other of the mission.
Give each other grace. Stop putting each other on a pedestal. Though your partner may be perfect for you, he or she isn’t perfect. Give them room to be imperfect.
Date each other. Do it without distractions such as phones. Give your spouse your undivided attention when you’re together. Be spontaneous.
Give each other space to breathe. This may be hard especially if it’s fresh but encourage each other to hang out with friends and family without each other. Though you’re one unit, you’re individuals who need to practice self care.
Create moments of intimacy. Notice that I didn’t say have sex. Yes, sex is amazing but intimacy is better. Go for a walk together. Take baths/showers together. Give each other massages. Kiss without the orgasm at the forefront of your mind. Talk to each other before going to bed. Trust me, the more intimate you are without fully engaging in the act, the more fulfilling the act will be.
Learn to listen without giving advice. Sometimes, all your partner needs is an ear. They want to feel their feelings without you trying to rush them through them because it makes you uncomfortable. Let them know that you are a safe space for them to vent with no pressure to immediately heal.
Don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s. Again, you don’t know what is going on in people’s houses. Focus on your own garden. Grow and Rebuild as often as you need to.
As, I stated before, I’m no expert but I have been in enough relationships to know that a WAP won’t get a person and it definitely won’t make them stay.
Save your juices, babies.
Until next time,
A Eaddy McKeithan